I was 19, fresh out of the IDF when my first tattoo was done on my right shoulder, a Butterfly.
I was grasping the idea of Freedom without understanding what freedom is.
I was on to something…
Like all things in life, we’ll get back to this beginning at the end of this blog.
I was 20, drunk in Thailand when I had a bamboo needle carve my 2nd Tattoo on my left ankle.
The Pi symbol with the Letter א in Hebrew (A) in the middle of it. It was done by a Thai Tattooer, which might have been drunk himself for all I know, till today no Hebrew reading person recognises it as the letter א.
At that time I was just going with the flow, doing what everyone else was doing, taking the well known Israeli trip after the army, enrolling to a good Uni’…
Doing gave me a sense of courage and knowing myself. Like much of humanity I forgot to be a human being, instead, I was for a long long time a human doing.
I had my 3rd Tattoo done somewhere in my late 20’s, Infinity symbol, on my nape.
My late 20s were not great, they were so, not great, that it’s all just a big blob of terrible dates, friends' weddings I had no money for, long conversations about their children… A lot of doing was still going on.
I did everything so I won't have to be. Be with my biggest fears, feeling that I don’t belong, feeling anxiety in social situations, feeling unseen, feeling I wasn’t good enough...
I continued doing, building my career, working hard, making money... That’s when my workaholic self came into being, and she was all about doing.
I was disconnected from myself and everyone around me, it’s no surprise I put such a meaningful symbol somewhere I couldn’t see it.
I had my 4th Tattoo done in my early 30s. A broken in half Water Crystal with watercolours connecting the 2 pieces, all along my right arm.
At this stage, I was angry and sad. I was lonely and drove away many beautiful people that wanted to be near me.
I knew we are the manifestation of our thoughts, but other than Tattooing it on my body I had no other tool to do anything with that realization.
I was still very much disconnected from myself and working very hard, doing and building HR rolls from scratch in startups.
I had my 5th tattoo done during my mid-30s, the Flower of Life. It took almost a year to complete.
This was during the time I started training in the Satya Method. During the beginning of the process, my Tattooer gave me an incredible book to read, by Dr Bruce H. Lipton - “The Biology of Belief”.
Lipton in his book proves to us in a biological, scientific way that our thoughts create our reality and talks about the fact that we are all made out of energy.
The flower of life represents the energy which we are all made of, any substance we know, including our cell’s nucleus is made out of energy at the very root,
I understood that I cannot move past my fears and will not achieve anything by grasping my beliefs, ideas, thoughts, and desires. I had to go through the pain! Meaning I had to start feeling, sensing and getting to know me my thoughts and my body again.
I was going through a right of passage with the help of my Tattooer at the time, and my first Satya Coach, doing some serious Being and Re-acquaintance with myself in the coaching room and the Tattoo sessions.
Finally, I had been given the tools to start changing my reality.
I didn’t know it back then, but a big fall, the biggest one yet was on the horizon.
In hindsight, this fall saved my life and brought me even closer to being free, it changed my life for the better in so many ways (more on that in a future blog).
My 6th Tattoo was done after I got through that fall, during my studies to be a Satya Coach myself. It’s a Tattoo of Bodhisattva (enlightened person in Buddhism practice) Vajrayojini.
Vajrayogini represents emptiness and thus endless possibilities of reality and its perception.
It is also said she is the best suited Dakini (Dakinis are energetic beings in female form) for our age and times, she works for the well-being of others and letting go of clinging to the Ego.
She is an inspiration to me and symbolises my journey so far, she is a constant reminder of emptiness, which has become the main value in my life.
My 7th and last Tattoo took 5 minutes to do and it was done right after I finished Vajrayigini, the word Rhythm on my left wrist.
A reminder for the next step in my personal growth, as my freedom has no bounds.
A reminder to how and who I want to BE in this life, Calm, Slow, Appreciative, Compassionate, Empty, Joyful…
And so if we go back to the beginning of my journey, which started with me thinking I was free.
To be truly free, I first had to break all my preconceptions about freedom, about what defines who I am, get to know the conclusions and beliefs I had about reality and grow my compassion to myself as a first step.
I love my Tattooed map of life, I was the one painting it all along,
So far it has led me precisely where I need to be.